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Shiaowei .

Life is just so fragile . One pop and it's over . Seriously . But whatever it is , this picture is so damn nice isn't it (: I guess some old habits don't die off just that easily ... Is that a good thing ?

Too many things happening lately , too hectic a week to even pause and ponder about what I really want in my life . These few weeks ... no wait in fact the first half of the year has gone past waaaay too fast . And it's getting pretty much scary ): Maybe I'm not taking my studies seriously enough , but the stress is already enough to kill honestly . What more can I do to pull up my grades ?

Honestly in the past , I didn't think I'd have to worry about this . But now I guess it's gonna be a pertinent problem that's gonna linger in my head till A's are over on 4 Dec . Priorities in life need to be thought out soon , and I'm prolly really steering my future directions to reading Psychology in University . Then it all boils down to that one question , do I have the capabilities ? Can I even get results decent enough to get into the faculty of my dream school ?

And that is just one of the many problems existing in my life right now isn't it hahah . I don't exactly know what others think of me , I don't know if I'm unconsciously putting up a fake front in front of all my friends , to make them think that everything is okay . It's all just a mere facade , I really need to snap out of this ):

Too many thoughts to pen down proper argh . This feeling really sucks , like there's just that much you can tell to others , and yet there's a million other things to ponder over and causing a major disturbance in my heart . I think I sound so incoherent + different from real life . Hahah whatever . LJ is my escapade .



Maybe I don't know who the real me is anymore . Someone care to tell me who I am exactly ? Cause honestly I don't even know .
 
 
Shiaowei .
15 April 2012 @ 10:15 pm

Figured I should bring this livejournal back to life ... after being abandoned for a good 4 months gosh . Usual style of blogging - starting w a nice picture gotten off tumblr ! So many things have changed since the last time I posted here hmm .

Anyw life in school has been pretty much alright , results ain't desirable (as usual) |: seriously need to start bucking up . Half of term 2 is gonna be over soon ): livejournal will be like a platform for ranting , tumblr will be for ... tumblring (:

Hmm and higher education is just another one of the problems oh gosh D: psychology / mathematics ?? I rly dk if I should / can .

Ahh I'm so incoherent whatever k bye .
 
 
Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: Distance - Secondhand Serenade
 
 
Shiaowei .
31 December 2011 @ 11:11 pm

2011 is ending so soon ... so it's time to sum everything up (: As much as I'm not prepared for 2012 to come , I'm really grateful that 2011 is finally over . Life is super rushed and stuff ... just like a train . But even the best train in the world will never go on forever , there'd definitely be stops along the way (:

Stop 1 : Hwachong . Life's just revolving around school and stuff this year , hwach left me many fond memories + sad ones ... I remember crying so many times over many different matters . Made new friends , became closer to old friends , and also drifted away from some as well , they're now just those used-to-be close friends ): Hwach is definitely not a stress-free place , I've practically gone insane in there hahah . Not my usual mature self *coughs* hee . First was OG23 ! These bunch of people are so nice to hang out with , glad to be in the same OG as them hee (: They've definitely made my start to life in Hwach a good one (Y)
Stop 2: 11S7G ! Practically screamed our heads off when Amanda + me knew we were in the same class , didn't even care about our image outside Fishtank hahahah . And things just got better , Belinda's in the same class too (: 11S7G will never be a regret no matter what (: Love my clique loads , all the crapping and hanging out and random / stoopid things we talk about , thank you Amanda Belinda Songyang Yinghui Yueqi ♥♥♥ miss y'all loads , can't wait for school term to start (: And all the random camwhoring sessions we had over the whole year , thanks so much you guys ♥

Click at your own risk (: )

Stop 3 : Project Work ! Team S.O.S. , a million thanks to Joel Yinghui Yumin !! ♥ :D PW will never be so much fun w/o the 3 of y'all , and all our meetings , finding a spot to discuss work after we got chased out of Macs , just everything . Hopefully we met our Team Goals , to be the most awesome team and get our straight A's ! (: *crossing fingers* everything will be fine (: Thank you Team S.O.S. , super grateful for all that we have done together these months , trying to cut 6k+ words . Getting frustrated over all the mistakes and parts that we must redo , all the stoopid stuff that we do during PW sessions like having group discussion on MSN despite sitting all together (: THANK YOU TEAM S.O.S. for making the looong PW journey so much better (:
Stop 4 : OCIP Cambodia ! ♥ Up till now I'm missing Cambodia super loads ): I miss the best OCIP team ever , doing everything together and stuff ): And all the kids at Koh Rokar Village , all the smiles and innocence that they give , so so sweet and touching :') Thank you to Chingyee + Xinyung , first hotel roommates , we managed to survive all the blackouts together hee (: Thank you to Yanxin + Emily , my hutmatesss , we got through all the spooky stuff , big spiders in our huts , surviving on torchlights , FROGSSSS , and everything else (: Thank you to Amanda(Koh) my bathing buddyyyyy ♥ all the running-to-guys'-huts-to-tease-them (and we succeeded 'cos they never knew who were the ones who went to prank / tease them) !! And most importantly surviving through all the frogssss , and our daily bathing competition + gossip session we have when we bathe (: will never be able to bathe alone it's far too spooky D: Thank you to the guys who went to help us catch frogs from our toiletssss hahah but no it's not nice to keep scaring us w the frogs ): And thank you to Xinyung for being sort of my buddy during the trip + my second hotel roommate as well (: Thank you to Yanxin Javier Yizhong for being in Cultural Comm , sorry for being such a lousy comm leader hahah |: Thank you to Yvonne Chingyee Peiyun Juncheng for being fellow team leaders , surviving all the scoldings + organising of stuff together (:

In short thank you Xinyung Chingyee Yanxin Elizabeth Yvonne Amanda Jolene Emily Lingshan Yijun Peiyun Juncheng Javier Yizhong Taijoum Hongseng Yanperng Lionel Nicholas Derborne Chunfai Kaiyang Austin Zheryin (: OCIP Cambodia Nov-Dec 2011 ♥

One last thing to post ... It's not really something about 2011 , more of the past , but I really miss Guides a lot hahah ): Comparing Interact Club to Girl Guides , it's definitely Guides > Interact ): Went back for a few CCA sessions this year , it's so nice to see my juniors again (: And so pictures from my Guiding experience , which I'll really miss super a lot ): Once a Guide , always a Guide (: Batch'07 ftw ♥♥♥ :D

Alright now ... people whom I'm really thankful for this year (:

Amanda ! ♥
Thank you for all the random retarded convos that we always have , and letting me spam you w stoopid stuff hahah you know what I mean (: Classmates / friends for 3 years and counting , let's make this right (: we'll work hard next year hee and do our best yey thank you Amanda for everything (Y) pls be more mature in 2012 hahah just like me (: Thanks for all the encouragement and help that you've given me this year when I really needed them , and sorry for making you go through so many of my crying sessions zz hahah |: Tablepartners again next year alright hee can't wait to see y'all when school starts :D Lim Jia you rock ♥ :D

Belinda ! ♥
Belindaaaa ♥ pls stay so cute thank you very much hahah :D can't believe we've been classmates since sec 1 ... time really flies (: thanks for letting me talk rubbish too !! hahah and all the mini gossip sessions we have hee (: and also thanks so much for helping me w sch work !! you're a friend I'll never wanna lose , pls keep in touch no matter what alright :D Thank you so so much Belinda , we'll rock 2012 together (:

Songyang ! ♥
Hee omg my intellectual conversations buddyyy ♥ :D hope you're having fun in China now , super sad that we won't be able to countdown together / I won't be able to say g'morning to you through msn at 00:00 HAHAH . okeh we really need to be more mature sigh ): and don't worry if you think you're irritating me w all your random stuff *coughs* it's okeh yup I'm happy that you let me in on all these interesting topics :D see you when sch reopens in 2012 , and always rmb you're entitled to slap me HAHAH .

Yinghui ! ♥
Yinghuiiii omg we rly haven't met up in such a long time ): thanks for being a fellow member of Birdies HAHAH okeh that was lame / retarded ttm omg . Will miss you so so much omg take care and we must always keep in touch ! And talk about all our rubbish all over again hee :D Oh and let's test the close eyes on a train theory again ~ HAHAH pls meet up soon we've got so much to catch up on ♥

Yueqi ! ♥
Yueqi why you so smart !! Thank you for your texts of encouragement whenever I'm down and stuff , really helps a lot (: we're kind of considered tablepartners (w Belinda in between us LOL) hahahah okeh hope that things will just get better in 2012 , we will make sure that everything goes fine hee (: can't wait to see you when school reopens , please don't be so ego alr !!

Adelyn ! ♥
Omg I miss you so much Adelyn !!! We need to meet up soon w Susi (: Thank you for all the random msn convos that we have , and I'm still amused by your coffee bath after all these years (: sad that the 3 of us aren't in the same class / cca at all , but we'll keep in contact and meet up soon alright ♥ the last time we went out was at ECP , which is such a loooong time ago omg ): see you around in school next yr !! :D

Susi ! ♥
Susiiiii ♥ still so funny / amusing as ever , never changed since sec 1 (: thank you for all your amusing texts , esp the one on my birthday omg hahah it was hilarious (Y) same same as Adelyn , please let's all meet up soon !! ): miss catching up w y'all + we've all grown so much from sec 1 , lame people who always camwhore at such random places around the school hahah (: see you soon in school next year when school term starts ♥ :D


Vanessa ! ♥
Dearieeeeee ♥ Thank you so so so so so freaking much all these years , you're my closest batchmate from Guides hee :D and definitely one of my closest friends too :D thank you for listening to me rant all the time , thank you for pushing me to mug hard and congratulating me when I passed my first Chem test (LOL) , and thank you for always cheering me up after all the unhappy things that I go through (: can't wait for school to start so we can sync our timetables and decide on our meetup session again hee ♥ thanks so so much once again , 2012 will be a good year ahead , and I'm always here for you to rant (:

---------------------------------------
Alright it's time to wrap 2011 up , leave all the regrets and unhappy thoughts behind , hopefully 2012 will be a better year ahead of us ♥ :D To all JC2s next year , all the best for A's (: New year resolutions shan't be posted here hee (: To the person reading this now , don't worry too much about all the sad stuff ... Regrets and mistakes they're memories made (: I dare to say that 2011 has been well spent , despite it going past far too quickly , nostalgic much ):

This will be the last post in 2011 , see you again next year inthe_rainbow ♥ :D

/sidenote: gonna post this on the last 11:11 of 2011 ♥ 11:11 I wish ... (:

 
 
Shiaowei .
22 October 2011 @ 02:54 pm
):
 
 
Shiaowei .
09 August 2011 @ 12:40 pm
 Haven't posted here in such a long while I wonder who will even read this hahah . Guess my LJ is going to die soon ... but I'll revive it someday . I just don't know when . (:
 
 
Shiaowei .

" I just realised how much I've changed over the years . I'm more bitter about life and I don't seem to believe that anything good will ever happen . The world is evil and everyone is evil . It's so hard for me to believe anything anymore . I just don't want to get disappointed over and over again . I just don't want to get hurt . "


Life pretty much sucks doesn't it :(
 
 
Shiaowei .
25 June 2011 @ 08:40 pm
That feeling you get when you leave a conversation and think of all the things you should have said .

 

Blocks are starting soon ... less than 2 days left omg :( maybe counting down to the last paper will seem more optimistic hahah ... and more hopeful ? 

Everyone's so stressed out over blocks ... it's just blocks aye but why does it seem like some super duper big thing that even I'm afraid of omg :( Not done w mugging , might not even finish mugging on time hahah |: shall see how things go then . 
 
Gonna mug math tonight , full day bio tmr , and blocks start w GP ppr on Monday . At least it's an afternoon ppr yey so we don't have to wake up early on Monday !! (: I'm scared I can't wake up on time for school oh no ):
 
Must not screw blocks up , must improve grades . Not like anyone actually wants t screw blocks up in th first place -.-
 
Alright shall get to hardcore math mugging now and yeah hopefully it'll turn out productive :D Will post again after blocks , I guess !
 
 
 
That's it . I'm simply , tired .
 
 
Shiaowei .
I need to be more self-disciplined .And mug much harder .

Late night mugging all the way till end of blocks , hope it will help aye D: I don't even think I'm half done with mugging what is this .

8 more days till first paper . I can do this ):
 
 
Shiaowei .
25 May 2011 @ 08:48 pm
 

" People are always telling me to smile , like smiling is going to take away all the hurt and pain . Well , I've tried that . I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles and what I've learnt is that when it hurts this much inside , your heart always has a away of showing it no matter how many masks you wear . "

 
 
Shiaowei .
 

The past few days have been just ... pure insaneness . I really really don't like it when people around me are all so upset / moody / pissed and stuff :( it makes me think a lot , and I feel like a total loser 'cos I can't seem t cheer my friends up when they're upset |: Maybe it's 'cos I'm really that lousy as a friend . I want to help them as much as I can , but I don't know what are the right words t say . I don't want t make them even more upset than before . And I don't want t add on to their troubles anm sigh :( 
 
So yeah to everyone out there who are upset and stuff , cheer up alright <3 :) Life may be tough 'cos of many many types of problems , but eventually everything will turn out t b okeh so just put on a big smile and everything'd b fine :) The term is ending soon , just one more week . One week left , and it'll be more relaxed yeah ? Although June hols will be spent mugging for blocks ... sigh and I rly need t buck up . Sick of failing , and somehow tired of trying alr . 

On a lighter note , went back t Nanyang for a short while yesterday after Math Olympiad lesson :) Hahah actually main thing for going back thr was t collect my o level cert ... yey higher chinese whoo :) And so went up t th hall t visit Guides booth ... I got a shock when th juniors greeted me . Super out of touch w Guides alr zzz |: Hahah yeah and I went down t th canteen t th food prep area and saw Clarice & K-cia yey :) I miss Ixora'10 so freaking much :'( Patrol outing soon alright ? (:
 
So much stuff t complete by tdy ... I will finish up all HBLs ! Not like I have a choice anyway hahah --" Done w Bio + Chem + Math only , thr's still GP + Econs  + PW HBL t complete gosh |: And I haven't started mugging for Bio class test too ... It's on DNA Structure & Replication + Cell Structure & Functions . Hahah super screwed omg D:  At least my class test is on Friday so it's not that bad , but that's like th last day of th term hahah .
 
Shall go continue w my work now , will find time t post agn soon t update abt CSM + Apollo Fac outing + JTS (:
 

And here comes a feeling you thought you've forgotten ;